I was tagged by the oh so lovely Lavrax in the “Friendship Tag” where you should give 5 reasons why you’re a good friend, this got me thinking about what makes a good friend and how I apply to that. So I decided to get a few of my friends in on this and ask them what makes a good friend (if they think I am one. Having the virtues which seem you a good friend can be quite open and general depending on what you want from that particular friend, which is a concept I find really interesting.
In my life I like to refer to the closest people in my life as my team, since they’re a mixture of my friends and family. This also makes me feel better about who I have around me and I know that I have a great team around me when the going gets tough.
To me this post is all about self reflection of the traits I have and traits I need to work on when it comes to friendship. Self reflection is such an important part of growth and personal development, we need to be able to assess the good, the bad and the ugly to know where we need to head to for the future.
So here are the different things my friends had to say about me and why they feel like I am a good friend:
There seems to be a reoccurring theme when it comes to these answers: the idea of always being there and being a pillar of support. Reliability and loyalty are also seen as such important traits to have when it comes to a real relationship, and something to look for in someone
Another trait which people deem to be important for a great friendship is humour. Now this is something that I think is important and I try incorporate into my life. The idea of making others laugh and smile is honestly something that makes my heart soar, to bring joy to somebody is a great thing. So finding someone who is compatible with you humour wise and having a laugh can be so beneficial.
Honesty and trust is also something that comes up in most people’s list of why they’re a great friend. I find myself to be a brutally honest person and I take pride in that, however some people find that quite daunting. I can be a force to be reckoned with and if you don’t understand that I am not being intimidating I am just being as honest as I can be and as honest as I should be. This is important in friendship because we need to trust each other and be able to speak the truth, we need to know we are not alone and trust builds that properly.
Being caring and considerate towards another person is also a huge turn on when it comes to friendship. Being that person who always remembers birthdays or when their friend has a big day or who provides their friends favourite snack is always something people desire. They want people who know them deeply for everything that they are and take notice of all of them little things which when you mention people go “jeez how did you know that? As if you remembered that”. Because that means that they are special to you and you genuinely listened to them. That is my biggest piece of friendship advice, remember the things that matter to them and check in regularly.
Something that may be overlooked but is actually quite important is being humble and genuine with people. The cocky obnoxious show off’s get their time to shine but really do you want to have extensive relationships with them? No not really. You want someone who can be real and will admit when they fuck up or can get over themselves to apologise when they did wrong. It’s so important to be genuine with your friends, it helps establish all of them other important aspects such as trust and support. If you open up to someone and become close with them you can’t lose that bond easily, that is how life time friendships are built. So staying true to yourself is crucial to being a good friend.
So to recap here are the five reasons why I think I’m a good friend and what makes a good friend:
- I’m supportive and try to help my friends as much as they need
- I have a sense of humour which is quite relatable to all of my friends so we can have a good time when we need to be less serious
- I will be truly and brutally honest with my friends, especially when it’s needed
- I am caring and considerate of my friends, I love being that person who remembers the small details of that persons life to then help them feel special
- I am transparent with who I am, I don’t pretend to be someone that I’m not and once you know me you really know me. I am real and genuine to myself and I won’t compromise that for anybodies benefit.
I really hope you enjoyed this post and can now self reflect on what you do well within your friendships. This was so nice to write as I got feedback from my friends and I always allowed time to actually compliment myself. What five things would you say make you a great friend?
Thank you so much for reading my post today and I hope to see you around these parts again soon! Alex x