At the moment on my blog I am doing a little series on grief/loss, I’ve already done 5 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is Grieving and 5 Ways You Can Support Somebody Through Loss so today I wanted to dedicate this to people who are actually dealing with loss and grief. I have found my journey of grief and loss quite hard because I have felt so alone in it because I found that people just don’t talk about it. So today I am going to share with you 5 pieces of advice for anybody dealing with loss.
If you know anybody who is dealing with loss and want to let them know you want to support, send them this post and share this advice with them to show them your support but also that there are people out there talking about it.
If you yourself are dealing with loss and grief don’t be scared to reach out, all of my social media’s are linked at the bottom of this page so if you need to talk about it then definitely give me a message. There are also many charities and groups in the local and national community which can help so research and reach out to them if you need them.
What you’re feeling is normal. You’re okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. You’re allowed to feel what you feel.
When I was going through the first stages of grief I felt that what I was feeling wasn’t normal, and that made me isolate myself much more. I felt like I wasn’t crying enough, I was too angry and that I was taking too long to go back to normal. I felt like my mood swings were too extreme and that people didn’t know what the fuck I was going to be like form day to day, and to be honest I didn’t know either. THAT IS OKAY! THAT IS NORMAL! WHATEVER YOU ARE FEELING IS OKAY AND NORMAL.
Even if they don’t say it, people do really care. People are there for you, and with loss you might feel alone or abandoned, but your loved ones are really there for you.
I felt so lost and alone because I felt like people weren’t reaching out to me enough. However what I didn’t think about was that maybe people didn’t know how to approach me and how to help me, so they ended up saying nothing instead of saying something wrong. People that truly love you will be there so maybe you can reach out and say “hey help me” and people will be there. I promise you’re not alone and if you ever feel it, DM me on Twitter or Instagram and I will be there for you.
You don’t NEED to keep yourself busy or preoccupied, you don’t NEED to forget about it for while or do anything at all unless you feel it helps. Sometimes in loss and grief you might want to deal with it head on or tackle it slowly each and everyday. You just do whatever you feel like will help and fuck everyone else who says otherwise.
The first piece of advice EVERYONE will give you is to “keep yourself busy” and to that I say do whatever you need to do. You don’t need to keep yourself busy and not deal with it, if you want to lay in bed listening to sad songs and cry YOU CAN DO THAT! If you feel like you need to keep yourself busy you can, but I really felt the pressure to be back at work and then when I did go back I was more mad at myself because I couldn’t do what I wanted to be able to do. Just do whatever you feel you’re able to do and protect yourself first.
The world will keep turning and sometimes you will feel left behind by it, keep talking about it and keep talking about your feelings to people to keep yourself connected to the world as it turns.
When you are grieving, the loss takes over your whole mind and life. That is just a given. People are much more sensitive to that at the start but after a month or two the world seems to go back to normal and it feels like you’re being left behind stuck in your sadness. In this time you will feel like you cannot talk about your feelings or your loss anymore because you’re scared to come across as a sob story or a broken record. You are allowed to talk about this as much as you need to, and that is a great way to keep yourself connected to the world whilst not compromising what you need.
Please don’t isolate yourself from the world. Keep in touch with friends, family and co-workers so that you aren’t alone. Try to have one social event a day.
This advice is something that I wish I was told because it was something that I did and that made things harder for me. I kept myself isolated and it made things so much worse. Instead of making social plans or pushing myself to do one small social thing a day I was going backwards instead of forwards. So what you should do is try to keep up conversations with one or two people in your lives everyday, even just one message a day will keep connections up and stop you from withdrawing from the world. So even if it is watching a movie with your family or having a FaceTime with a friend. Do whatever you feel like you are able to do but also push yourself in the smallest ways to take tiny steps forward.
There are so many pieces of advice I would give to people who are dealing with grief and loss but these are the top 5 I have for you right now. If you want to see more posts like this one please let me know by liking, commenting and following to see it.
Share down below your advice for loss and grief, and lets support each other in the comments.
Thank you so much for reading today and I hope to see you around these parts again soon. If you’ve enjoyed my recent content then please leave me a like, comment and follow so I know! Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest which are all left down below. I hope you have a good day or night wherever you are, and God bless.